Or explanations and reasons....
Right now they're feeling more like excuses. The primary reason I started blogging was to get into the habit of writing daily. It has evolved and mutated into other things, but it still was supposed to be a daily log or journal of sorts. And I still want that to be the case, but sometimes these posts can take hours to put together, especially when I am editing or rather trying to edit video footage.
Or I'm loading lots of photos or trying to include links.
In those cases I know I should just write something, anything, like I am now, but then I feel like I'm not giving it my all, that I'm phoning it in as it were. My last couple of posts were like that.
And I didn't like it.
But the flip side is not writing and posting and I end up going a week without a peep, which is what happened last week.
I didn't like that either.
I'm writing this on Cindy's computer, because for some reason mine decided back in New Orleans to stop connecting to the Internet. And try as I might, I can't figure out why. The time I spent trying to fix the problem, was time I could have/ would have spent writing/blogging.
This Thursday I start a new job. I will be working as a lead-person on a low-budget feature, in Atlanta as a local. The last time I worked in this capacity on a similar sized project was over twenty years ago in Los Angeles before I joined the union.
I will be making just a little bit more than I did way back then, although it will be union, so at least I'll be getting hours towards my benefits.
It's a little shocking and definitely eye-opening and of course, I need to wonder if the road we've decided to take is the right one. I feel fairly certain this is a one-time deal and that if I were to try actively pursue my "career", the results would be very different. As it is, this job practically fell in my lap as Cindy's jobs were slipping away and the timing was ideal for us.
For these reasons, I can set my ego aside and put my nose to the grindstone for a few weeks and take one for the team.
But talk about situations that can stir up a mid-life crisis.
To add insult to injury, I am feeling more out of shape than I have in years.
Around 4 1/2 months ago Skye and I headed out of Atlanta for LA where we no longer live and therefore had no place of our own to stay. We ended up bouncing around between friends houses and hotels, camping for a week when she did Shakespeare, and house-sitting for a friend for a few weeks. When Cindy flew out and joined us we all headed up to stay at a friends condo up in Mammoth Lakes for a little of 3 weeks.
Then I went off to Burning Man for a week and then back to join them for a little house sitting in LA for a couple of weeks. And then back on the road, taking around a month to meander across the US, again hotels and friends extra rooms and couches.
The point being, I have been living out of a car and suitcases for quite some time now and getting into a routine is impossible.
At some point as my girth was expanding and my physical fitness was declining, I just threw up my arms and gave into a "we're on vacation" mentality and really let myself go, knowing that this wasn't really a vacation, it was our new semi-nomadic lifestyle and that the longer I put off getting back in shape, the harder it would be.
And that's exactly what happened and where I am now.
The last hurrah being a few days of absolute gluttony down in New Orleans, a city particularly well-suited for such an indulgence.
It's Not a Crisis, It's a Lifestyle
So here I am borrowing my wife's laptop because my old junker just ain't getting it done, sitting in the kitchen of the house that we found to rent for a few weeks, surrounded by lots of furniture and things that aren't mine, knowing that all of our stuff is sitting in a warehouse in Los Angeles.
In Atlanta, a city I've grown found of but is far from the Ocean and tall mountains, things I had taken for granted living in LA, but realized I dearly missed when away from them for too long.
And feeling like I'm starting my career over again from scratch.
Now intellectually, I can go through all the hows and whys as to why we're at where we're at. And like ol' Blue Eyes says, "regrets, I've had a few" and most certainly "I(we) did it my(our) way" and I now what a great adventure its been but honestly, right now is one of those, "pick yourself up, dust off and march right back into the fray"
With that I'm off to sort things out with the local Union, get my bike fixed from the damage suffered when the bike rack on the back of the Rav snapped and dragged along behind us and to knuckle down and get back in shape.
More stories and adventures to follow.